Check up

Well my a1c is 9.2 and went up instead of down. We made it thru the 15th anniversary of my mom's death on the 22nd of Sept. It was werid without dad. I wish we didn't have to feel this bad with losing family members.

Heart dr

Well I had my heart Dr appointment....I go back in six months. That's a good. He said my numbers were better. I can't wait to see what he says in six months.

On good terms, I really can't wait to see my boyfriend. I am missing him badly right now. I really love him. I think this is really the one. Even though we have disagreements. I only hope that we will continue to grow in love and in happiness. Well I am going to go.

Lava lamp

Today I got to make a lava lamp. It was fun today. I had my therapy session with Dora today also. We did EMDR today. I hopefull that it works.

I had a dream that dad said that it was all a joke on us about the accident that happened. I only hope that it doesn't come true because that it will impact us negatively. I am believing that he is peaceful and resting greatly because he deserves it badly

Rearrange

Well I rearrange my living room today. I just felt like a change. I just wish life was a little bit easier. That's all

So i had a problem

So I had a scuffle with my fiance. I just wish we quit having them. Every time he gets drunk we have them. Maybe my guardian angels will help his drinking problems.

Well its not just him. I have to keep taking my meds everyday and make sure that it at the right time. Sometimes when I don't take them I go psycho and I don't want to be. Life would be great if I did everything right for once.

I love this man dearly and I hope this will work out right for once. I need and want to stay happy. I just think if he would love me enough maybe we both fix each others demons and make a better life for each other. It is something that is needed for us.

Some day

Some days I just want to sleep all day long and not worry about a damn thing. Life is hard without my parents now. My dad I all ways asked for advice and now I can't. Yes I know I am whiny but this all needs to come out as my therapist says. I am going to leave here for a bit. I am at the drs office

Well I can't wear jeans till I am cleared up and use spray deorderant. Well I guess that's what I will be doing the next few weeks.  I just love how I am healthy

Life sucks

My dad passed away on July 10, 2017. It really sucks. This death is harder to take than my own moms.

It sucks because there was a solar elicpse that I wanted to experience with my parents and never got to.

Well I have to work on depression, ptsd, bipolar with psychosis, and anxiety.  Hopefully this new med change works out good for me.

Well I will update soon.